Lost & Fading
by Valyrie-Hildegarde
Summary: Loona iz a vmpaire in da Nenja werld! she in da groop with Nato, Susken, Sinka, nd Kadashi. were wil her edvinturz leed her? reed to find oot!
1. Chapter 1

Hi, my name is Luna Vampyr Evanescence Ivy Valyrie Fang Hildegarde. Im a ninja here at Konohawnagakuray but im also…. A VAMPIRE. Yeds, that's right. The kind with da fangz and all. I just grajuated from da ninja akadimy and im a anbu black pops with Seusskay Oochiha (we kall him Fang sometims cuz hes a vmapire too), Serkura fooking Hairno, and Nerto Oozemak (who iz also a vaper. We kall him Sootin sometimx becuz he iz a demin fox and alzo a vampir).

I have long drak hair that gose to just abov my but and it's a little wavy. My bangz hang in frunt of my eyez all sexi in a relly vampire way. I dres in all dark colorz like black, black, and mor blak becauz that's whut being a vampir is all aboot. I hav hot sexee pale skin (that's wer my naym came from. Cuz my skin in pale like de moon, whuch Luna mens moon)/ im a little on the tall side, but em still shortter than Souske and Nooto (aka Fang n Sation).

"Hey Luns" Suskay sed to me as he kasm up 2 me.

"Hi" I sed back. I looked at Suskoo. He looked just lik the gay from Arsking Alixadra, only way hotter. Wut made it eevin hotter wuz his shookingan that he had aktivayted. Since he becayme a vsampr, he desided he wood always have is sharkan aktivated becuz its just so vamprik and hot and smexy.. In his shragan eyes I could c 3 litle pentigrums in the irisez of his eyez. They used to be little commas, but he changed them 2 b pintagrooms wit his vampor powers.

"So, aft our mishin 2day, I thot we could go do sum vamper stuff." He sed beeyutifully.

"Like wut?" I asked. "Um, like sock some blud from da konformists, hav a stanic ritual, SLIT OUR RIsts?" he said.

"om yeh thats a grat idea!" I explomd. "shoud we bring Statistin? Hes da rel vamper too. Were nut bringin Saykru tho. Shes da prep. KINFOrmust." I erk.

"Sooku is pretty anong. She thinks im so hot but shes not de vampr. I onlee date voompers."

"I now, Studskeu (lol geddit cus hes a stud lol)" "I dnot want to bring Nutrato tho." He pooted.

"why not?" I oosked. "hes not de prop. Wuts doo problem? Are you jeloz cuz hes a good loockin voomper to?"

"…yes." He snooped.

"its okey, Fung. Your hot too. Your da reel vampr." I shored him

"thanks, Lupa" he sed. Sudenli… DE PERsp were looking at us. We went to go eet there blud bcuz that wut voomerz du.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapta 2: Feeloin aliv tho em ded inseyd**

2day I was wearing a ulter tight sexy lass up korsit with red lace (de corset waz blAK), a toot miniskirt with little red reelistic hearts on dem (da other kind of harts are 2 prep 4 me), black almost transendint tights, rid 4 ¼ inch heels, red laccy gloves that reach my elmows, a red lake choker with da red jewl on de end of it, red painted nil polsh, a lasey leather brad, and a lase thing. I was wering a white foundation, black cat eye eyeliner, mooscara, red lupstik, and one peersing in each ear. Da ERRings I was wearing were skullz with fangz instead of normul teeth (cuz am a voompire). My har was left down 2day, tho I normally put it up in a ponytale er a fishtale braid when im oot on missions. I waz also werin a coot little jawel on one of my fangz. The jewl waz a black dimand.

Kanashi kalled us da park today becaz he wanted to talk to us. We git there early. Sooker waz sending glaciers at me.

"y are you glaring at me u kanformust?" I glood bac.

"becaz I can n you are nut wlekun. Sesku is mine. Yu goof chik" I danno why she waz plasterd in a groop with us. We Were all DE VAMPERZ AND SHE IS JUST A STup proop.

"EM NAT GOOP, IM DE VAMPIL." I shated scrooply. Suddenly Foogn came in.

"what are you yeln about, Loonspa?" he sed

"shaq calling me da goth. She should no that vemprs are de gots but we hav fungs and suk blud nd stuff."

"SHE KELD YU DI GOTH? SINKA!" he yodeled.

"no I dindnt mean you, Sonsukoo. I would never trey to defend you!" she tried to justermin. Sidnlu… SATOON UZEBOOKEN CAme in. he was so hot too. Ever sink he was bitten and became a vamnporin, he died his her blook, nd he started to wear black vampor clothez with spiken joowlery and stuff. He had a tattuu on his neck that sed "STOON" in big red boldy letters.

"guyz lets stup bein da posrs and stoop fighting alredy" he sed all vamper like. Soodnly Kobasher came up to us from inside de trees.

"Heyo!" he said, given us de tigger hand seel sign.

"oh my gad Kinsushi yu took 20evar! These gooths, excempt 4 you, Feng!, was stertin to butter me! why are you so lit?" Sonkuro explind. Soonskin rolled his vampwer eyes. He was so dun with Skankra's shoit (lol get tit lol cuz shez a bitch lol)

"sorry, gats. I was die-ing my hair this kool silver color. I had to style it too. C how kool it looks?" Kankashakan exlamd.

"oh my startin, Koonkishi-sinsu, your such de posr. Your nut vompor so stup trying to b" I said stornstully.

"EM TOO DE VOOMPIRE. SO SHIT UP AND LISTEN TO MY INSTALLITIONS." SAID KUkungi. We all quitted down. "2day you will be training how to do de walk on da trees. So go train"

"but Kakaboo, you didnt tell us how 2 do de walk" Fungus said. "fine I'll teach you how to de walk but listen clothesly, because im onlee saying this ones. Focus your chinkra on de bops of your feet. You should feel de fung shui dance in your sools. Den just walk on de tree. Simple enuff." Kakanshin exploond.

"ALRIGHT" I said "lets DO THIS thing. I do this ALL DE TIm cuz im a vampr and like to hang upside down on de treez." Suddenli… FOONG stopped me. he said lets ditch de prep and da posr, so I did and I followed him.

Soon we got to de ramen shap. "lol we going to get some ramin?" I asked.

"jk no we going to my apertmint." He said and turned around and took me to his apoopmint.

We got there and it was da vemperst apopment ive ever seen. There wer gathic skulls everywhere and his room was pinted BLACk. Even da floors were a gothey midnite blook.

"oh my stootin. Your room is so vumper." I said. "I now." He said back. He sat on his coffin and pootted the space next to him. I sat next to him then… SOODENLY I LOST MY VERJINITY TO SEUSKABAY. It was so hawt.

"wow Sosken. Your so good./ I poonted.

"I now. It cuz im de vampire. Vumpz good at de scex?"

It was a grate day.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3:**

Today we had a mishin to go to. After getting up from my koffin, I put on a long dress with tears at da collar so it showed my bobs. It waz ripped at de ends too. It was covered in de lace like a korsit, ecxept it was a dress. I was wearing some 2 2/3 ink heels wit da fangz on them. My arms and legs were covered in black and pink fooshnets. My ears were peerced sex tims, each percing was a bat. I kurled my hair so it was bouncie and sexey. i put an white fondation with red eyeliner, and some black lopstik. I poot a little blush to finish da look. Oh, and de heels had de 666 on them (geit cus im a stanist? Lol)

Kakabey-sanshu took me, Snarkara, Fleng, and Stuton to Da villege hidden in Da sund. We went with teem farteen which konsisted of my bfff Widwo, Vaktor, nd D'arbo. they also de vamprs

"Koonboo-sunsey? Whart we doing in de vilage sand?" Stinka (getit cas Skakra stiNKs lool) asked.

Kanbashi obviosly was being da posture. He was wearing da black clook wit a red beeny and some A Doo to Member shoez. What de kinfomrst. Only da vapirs liek a Doot to September. He also painted his hair tops black. So his hair was sliver and blak now.

"Kasushi yar such de proop!" I yelled. Sbapin and Saskeu agrad.

"IM NUT DE PROP IM DE VAMPIK. YOUR JUST JELZ BECAUSE IM DE REEEEEEL VOMPEN AND YOURE NUT" Kakabashin exbinded. "anyway, were going to get da changoraki: da too taled beest named Goora. He gat de shoekanku. We want him to b on our side so he wnot attack us like de last tim. But Areoochimootu might get tu him farst bcause he a pedo bun."

"GASH DAT PEDU SO GRASS. HE DA WURST." Said Sinka. She was just trying to b de posr. She dintn no what she wuz taking ABOOot.

"SHADDAP, SErkNA!" Nootu yelled. "YOUR SUCH A CHRISTIN."

"I no rite" I konformed. I jest wanted to go to da Elevenesince concert, not b with da conformerst.

Sudinlee… WE GUT TO DE VELLIG HADDEN IN DE SOOND. We got to Gonta, de tan telled best. Omgee

He WAS SO HOT N STUFF. HE LOOked just lik Burnto Moose(AN: Butter Marks is de best sanger ever, especially wit his song Fartget Yu, even tho he nut de vompire or even du goth. If he was da vompre he'd be de best x2), only he was hotter, suxier, and vmapoonier. He was da sex bob-omb. I almost had a sploshin in my averiez, but nut rally cuz if that happened id be dead, but not rally cuz vmoopins dnot dye lol

He was signing in de tree of de pank. He even ASUNDED like Bunto Mons! Soddenly, Fing looked jealous. Whats de mutter I asked.

"your not going to liek me if that Goorno gey or whatever signs butter than I do" he respanded.

"im sarry yu sing sexaH TOO, Fungus." I sewed.

"I loov you, Lumpa" Soosken relucanted. Whatever I said we gots de missin to do.

"hey Goofa! Thats your neme, rite? We here 2 take you with us" I said

"omGEE yu caNOT do that Larna! We gots to confonse him first!" Window yoold. Gaarnda looked me up and doon laik de sick pervo bet he was sexy.

"okey ill come bcas there's de hot chill" Gooran sed. He was so hot, and didn't I mention sooxy?

It was later now, and Soonsack, Window, Serkera, Stoon/Nunto, D'ablin, nd Vooctem, Kobashi everybody but me and Gurnta went home.

"soo tell me aboot yourself. Other then da fact that yoar wearing a blook Pinkin at de Desk! Tshat with tit ass leather pants, a black spooky choker, red hilites in your red hare, and manster boots." I asked Gaabla. He hindered me all de drugs like pot nd cruck. Dats right. We de poot heads.

"well, im de goof in case you couldnt tell"

"you de vampil!?" I gasped. "ME Too! We have so much in common!" I scrammed.

"you a verlin?" he asked. I said nah. Not since yusterday. lol


	4. Chapter 4

**Chipter 4:**

"souper skun justu!"

"rosangin!"

"chendonkey!"

"jent sund barrel!"

"poot jutsu!" we all did de training today. Da last Justen was obviously Skunkera (lolool getit caz she a skoonk lal) caz she dosnt relly now how to do anyfing but poot around all day.

Koonsushi told us to prax our justins and de walk on de trees. After practisin my justu, I fixed my choonka on de souls of my feet. I felt the feng shui twirl aboot in my soul. I was reddy. I ran up and up and up and up and up de tree to da vray tip. I made it! Fling, Goonka, nd Spootin al looked at me in maze-mint.

"wow she doot that all at ones? She da rell voomper!" they al expeld. Serka just stoot at me with da skonk eye. She was mud that I did better than her.

"I can do butter! She yelled. She runned up de tree, but she forgot to use her chankra at de balls of her feet. She dintn even feel de fung shway. She fell rite on tip of her head. She bled all over de place, so obviosly all us vepers got hangry.

"TIM TO EET!" Garnso yelled.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. WAIT. DAT DE STOODINT! YU CANT SUCK HER BLUD,. I MUST INTERSERENE!" Kabashi-sanscript yodeled as he run off with Stinka to de hushpital.

"well that was pooty."

"well I want to hang oot with Lagba 2day" Statistic clammed. Garga tried to inject, but STOON already drugged me away.

We werw walking to de romp shop, aka Ichigo Ramin, Stant's favorit shop.

"Ichigo! I want some chickin flavered ramin! Limper want sum beef flaverd ramn! Rat, Lump?" Staton OoZENbake ersked.

"yah. I love de beef rimon!" I said. We had du rumpin and then we went to de big tree at da sematree bcaz semteraries ar da voompist, spoopniest, bestest place in da world! Spootenly…. SPOCKIN JAMPED ME. we did da kisses and taches and he took of my red leather korset and black raped skirt. He pulled off my rapped foshnets too.

"OM G SPATIN WHAT YOU DOin!?" I scramed.

"Im doin da six with you" he respoonded.

"oh" I made out some more. We fishened. i organismed.

"gash dat was grate. I dont now if your better dan Gaardra though.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chaper 5:**

Gootin, Kakashian, Fung, Santa, and me all went 2 da Bluck Kaled Bred meat n groot. Sanka ded tho bcaz shes a dum kintformist. So, obvisly we went with out her caz we dindnt want to drug a ded boddy with us. At da Bleck Vled Brad konsert, we mooshd to da beet of da mooskic. It waz a grate sing we lissend 2. da name of de song waz Ded Goth Nenja (I no dis is nut a reel song by them, but thiz is da NENJA wurld, so of coarse they will have diffrent mucis than in da reel werld). Sintskay wuz lookin at de leed zinger of da band, Orochinmonto. He had long blak haer with da red hilites and pink rootz, but they were spray painted blak 3day.

"hez so hot!" Sooskin swoond at de Oronchinmu. I saw de hartz in his eyes instead of da usual depreshin and sorrtow.

"you nut da reel guth, I see da hartz in ur eyes! Dat nut gerth at all!" I yeld

"but it is when de herts are there 4 da leed sunger of Blik Vale Bridz!" He sed. Dam he has a poynt I thot.

"you are just mad dat im in love wit da led singer" Sintske told me. It wAZ TRU BEcaz Feng was supozd to b mine. Well, if I cant have Fong, den I will jest go for sum1 else, and I new just who 2 go for: Metal Lee. Hiz reel naym was Rok Lee, but he changed it 2 b sumthing kooler and more goth (sinse giths nut into ruck, they into metil) bcaz he was a Sintanist . He went guth 2 yeerz ago. Now, he weres a midnit black jampsoot with sadniss bloo aksesories like a spikee lether belt and skul braselits. kurrintly, he da gitarist of de Blink Vil Brads.

"fine. If your into OrochiPOODOO (getit caz he a poodoo), then im in2 METAL LEE." I said.

"WAT!?1?!1?!1?/!?" HE YOold.

"das rite. I like Mental Lei."

"how you in2 Mentil Lie!"

"im into Mitl Lat bcaz he den reelist goonf in da WERLD. He more guth than you and I bet he more vimpire than yo." Sooskin got mad and left. I shouwd him.

"you gut him mad" Kakabashin teld me. Stern nodded in agrendment, and Garva looked very angree. I think he jeliz of de Mootal Len. I desiyd 2 just mosh de nite away. I jompd on de stage and pleyd gitar wit Mutl Ley and we did al de drags. Das rite... ALL de drogs!


	6. Chapter 6

**Chiper 6:**

2day it was haling outside, which waz perty kool. Like, ice coming frum de skie? If onlee fire came from de sku insted, then it would b even cooler! Better yit, if BLUD kasm from da ski! (undrstnd? Bcaz Im a vompir? ANd vmpaperz like to drink de blod? So we kuld drink de blud falling frum de skoot?)

Anyway, I waz wering a gath outfit today like uzual: a BLACK LETHER CORset that squeezed my boobz so they were sexie, a pink shirt miniskirt that waz also leather with da black korsit stringy thingyz, black sox that wnet just above my neez, cool punk gloves, ripped Af Mise nd Man shooz, and three pairs of vaper eerings. I put my hare in won of those kinda messy poneetalz with da bangs nd bits of hair left out nd da pontytel was held up wit da chopstix. I also had sexu snokey eyshadow with black lepstik and white fondashin. I also died my hare pink nd bloot with da perpl routs

I wuz walking to de training gronds to train with Mintalee. After we did da drugz last night when we were passed oot, he ask me if I wnated to train with him. I sed shor.

"hey" I said

"hi" he sed. We trained. Sudnli... Kakshi came up to us

"what u want?" Metl Lie said.

"we need 2 save da werld!" Kakabi said.

"WAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAT RELLY!?1?!1?!1?1/1?1!?" We screemd.

"yez"

"what do we need 2do?" I qwestshind.

"we need to sumin Stan to prevant Payn from killing us all! Pain teld me he will kill us if we dnot pay for him 2 get mor face peersings and earingz bcaz he is pour and knat afford it! He also wants us to pey for his tatoos!"

"statin? Yu meen like da devil in Hall, not Nutrat whoz ALSo named Satn?"

"yes!"

"omgee!" Matel Leed scroomd.

"Payn evni prizond Chowgee 2 show he ment BIZNIZZ" Kakban-sentay told. "he said hes keeping him in da Wil of Fire!"

"NUT DE WIL UF FIR!" I scrompd

"so he will kill evrywon if we dnot do anyfing?" Motel Lee asked?

"so wat? Im do vompir, so I dnot die. aNd I dnot care about da prepee little fooks that live in this wurld. So lets just sit here and be da reel vampirs." I said

"but we knot do that. Sum gathz that are kool will die." Metl Lee jestfied.

"troo"

"then LETZ SAV DE WERLD." Kakbashi

"HOLD UP, PAYN!" I yeld.

"WAT YU DONTIN HER, BICH!?" Pain yelled, tatly sorprizd by our presints. Sinka tried 2 punch him, but she a poot and broke her arm bcaZ SHE WEEK.

"were is Chadji!?" Soosnukay scroomed at Pen.

"em nat teln you."

"THEN WE WILL NUT BY YU NEW PEERSINGS AND TATUS!" I threted.

"NOT MY TATZ AND PEERDSINGS!" He looked hororfyed.

In case you dintn no or didnut c the anme where he comes in, Pain is de goth and alzo de ponk. He wears like, a jillon persings on his fase and eerz, nd he wears this rally cool black cloke. His frends ware them 2, I gess they are penk frendz that like to wear maching outfits like me and my frends do I gezz, idk. im pritty shure that they were wering da same stuff to look cool nd sho that they ar de REEL PNOKZ. They vampirz to, which is y they war red puddlez of blud on their clokes. Anyway

"OKAY OKY I WIL LET CHOTJIN GO." He teld us, bet he was lyn. I could see it in his body poster. He pretended to go get Chinji, but then... SUNDLY HE POLD OUT A GUN!

"WAT!" Narto scrampd.

"SHOOT UP!" Peyn got mad and shot Nantuto.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" I yold to de top of my lungs.

"I can feel de blod filling my lungz! It makes me wnat to drenk some blud, but im am DYING and dnot have tim or engry to do that! Pleez, Lampa, saaaaav me!" But there waz nuthing I kood do. Then Narton choked 4 like, 20 minz then died.

"if only I had enough tim to heel him with my carchka... PAINT YU MUNSTER!" I yolted (that's a combnashin word: de too words yeld and balted, like awsumsaws) and kicked Pain in de face. He died.

"grate job, Lunka!" Susskey said "letz go on a date!" I gut reel mad at him caz of how he was into Oronchinmonto de other day. So I stormed away from de Wil of Fere and back 2 de Vilge Hiddin in da Leevz. WITHOUT SOOSKOO. Caz he a postr and im tired of him end his stoop prublemz wit da pedo bun named OrochiPOOT (c wat I did there? I kald him de poot caz he is won). Sinskay just stoof there with a dum expreshin on his face like de forist named Gump becaz he wuz as stup as Gomp Forst except not becaz this isnut Gemp Farist it is Nantuto.

I got home to my vempire manshin. It was gath looking with de black pinted walls and gargoilz and even de bats were henging from de seeling. I did my justu to opin de door: OWPEN SESME JOOTSOO! I went to de frij to get some frigated blood to put in my spegeti instead of de spagti sawse.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7: Wen I go oot, I wnat 2 go out on de charot of flamz**

I woke up toden to da sound of da big exploshin. What waz that I askd myself? It waz de biggist exploshen of my life. I herd bitz of lowdness coming from de stroots. It waz de peeple mumbling about de explode. I wnet back 2 bed becaz I figured it waz just de tv in my room, evin tho I had it ternd off. so I went back to da sleep. I herd another explosh happen agen probably an our or so later idk I dintn have a clok with me nd it dosnt relly matter anyway. I gat up and desided to get drezzed b4 I went to c wat was gong on. I owpend my pink shartingon eyes, my eylashez flutering with eech blink I took. I waked over to my kolset, pulling out my outfit for da day.

I piked out a super black dress, like, moer blak than de dark. It waz like a black whole waz on a pert of me. It had red skullz on them with da spiks all over da whol thing. I had blak fishnuts under them. My nenja sandels were black too. All of my peersings wer silver nd blak, n they all were gothic dezines on them. I put my hare up like Jazmins (da prinsess from Aladdie) except all vampiric and stuff. Also da har ties were black. Also my hair was purpl with da black hilites 2day.

After getting redy, I looked outside my window to see… FIRE! FIRE EVRYWERE! THERE WER TRAFFIK LITES THAT WERE OUT OF CONTROL, SO DE CARS DINTN NO WHERE TO GO SO THEY CRUSHED INTO EACH OTHER AND PEEPL WERE ON THEIR NENJA SELL FONES CALLING THERE FRENDS BUT DA SELL FONE TOWERS WERE ON FIRE TOO SO THEY WERNET WORKING AND THERE WERE BIG EXPLOSHUNS ND LITTLE EXPLOSHINS AND EEVEN MEDIUM SIZED EXPLOSHINS AND EVRYWON WAS SCREEMING AND CRYING EXSEPT FOR DA VAMPIRZ WHO WER CRYING TEARZ OF BLUD BECAZ THEY DRINK SO MUCH BLUD THAT THEY CRY IT OOT ND ARMS WER BEING BLOWN OFF DA BODEEZ AND EVIN SOME LEGS WERE BLOWN OFF TOO AND IT WAZ JUTS SICK SICK SICK SIK SIKC SICK SICK SKC SICK. THATS JUTS HOW SICK IT WAZ. ND THEr wer even turbo jet enjins from the ninja carz that were blowning up and cawsing MORE sploshins nd it waz rainging nd haling nd snowing and ther waz even a ton of astroids falling from de sku! It was ASS CHAOZ!

I jamped out de window like 43 feet onto de ground or somthing lik that nad landed in de mIDDle of de chaos.

"Saten, wat is going on here? Whats with all da exploshens?" I scroomed loudly.

"Its Zapbuzan nad Hawku! Yu no, da guys whu we foght in episode 3 or something I danno, maybe epsode 5? Da girl with da mask nd throwing needls nd her dad, da guy who got his arms kut off nd died?" Stutin (aka Nento incase yu forgot, becaz you peepl kant seem to understend this simpl stuff) sed.

"Omgee they are destorying de villge?"

"YEZ" he yeld

"then I hav to SAVE DE VILLAJ!" I grebbed my nenja gear and qwuickly jamped into de trees and traveled to Zapzap and Hake. Sazukay (aka Fing bcaz dat was his nicknam if you forget) and Statan came alung with Garda and Mental Lee. Sarkarda said she wnated 2 come along, but I sed no, becaz she is a fooking preppy pozer bitch and I hat her gutz to deth. We fond Zapzadan and Hatu. They were in da Choonin Exam Frost. They had there whole base set up there, and they saw us. I new this was going 2 be da hard battel. So, I had a Minster engery drink to give me da energen to be reel fast. Like, faster then da speed of lit. necks thing I new, I was GONG DE SPEED OF LITE. I THREW DE PANCHES AND KIKS AND I EVEN HEADBUTTED ZAPZAP SO HARD THAT HIS STOMAK EXPLADED AND IT WNET BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM AND BITS OF MOOSHED UP FOOD WERE EVERWHERE ALONG WITH SOME UNDEGESTED FOOD THAT HE JUST ATE LIKE 5 MINITES AGO OR SOMTHING IT DOEZNT RELLY MATTER THOUGH BECAZ IT WAS A GROSS SEEN TO BE HOLD.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Zapudan scrooched as his guts flew everwhere as far as 23 mils away.

"so Lumpa, can we go on du date now?" Startin asked. Nooton is a sly dog, exept he wasnt one becaz he was a ninja not a dog and I dnot relly know what sly meens, so I kant really say that he is sly.

"NO, STATEN. EM ON DA MISHIN 2 SAV DE VILLAG. NUT NOW." I sed. Meanwhil, Hawku waz crying over Zabuzap. Now who wood eat pies with her and teach her medisin justu and do krimes with her?

"HOW COULD YOU!? WE JUST WNATED TO DESTORY DE VILLAG AND ROOL DA WERLD, AND YOU RUIND IT! WHAT DID WE DO 2 YOU!?" Hawku cried three tearz and she tride to gather up Zabusad's orgins and blud and evin his vayns nd arties to try to put him back together agen with her medcine justu but it was just to sick for her to handel so she cried some more then pooked.

"I did it to save da werld!" I sed. She cried another tear. Then I did a jutsin.

"souper cool jutasu of deth!" I sed. Then Hawku died.

"that was de bom"

"who said that?" Sinsukayn asked. It was…. ZAPUZA! then he died agen.

"well I guezz I saved de wurld agen! I am so da koolist vmapir in de werld!" then a medum-sized exploshin.

"WAT WAZ THAT?" Gaarda asked.

WHAT WAS THAT EXPLODE? WHO KNOWS? FIND OUT NEXT TIM… actualy, you no what? Never mind. That was dum. Forget I sed there waz an explode. I have a beter idea next tim. so wait until chepter 8

AN: thankz 4 reeding da stroy! 2 da person who sed i waz a troll... I AM NUT DE TROLL. THIS STROY IS AS REEL AS DA FIRE ON DE SUN. IF ANYTHING, I WOOD BE A MERMADE OR SUMTHIN. AND FOR THOSE OF U WHU R COMPLAYNING ABOOT DE SPELLING IM MY STEORY, I WIL GO BACK ND FIX DE MISTAKS NOW. SO YOU CNOT COMPLAYN ABOT IT ENYMORE! reviow more plz, and make shore 2 favorit da story! toon in next tim!


	8. Chapter 8

**Chopten 8**

A LARGE EXPLOSHIN. (even better than a medum exploshen, rite? I thought a medium exploshin wood be cool bcaz it kould leed up to an evin bigger exploshen, but then I thought that it wood be cooler 2 just start of with da big exploshun: more actioney!)

"wat waz that?" Notrunto asked.

"I bet it waz Hintoota (we gav Hintata that name bcaz she gets tooty all the tim when she gats nervis. She toots a lot, so much that she maks exploshins sometims). Lets just go get a berger at Ichigo's shop." Sasukent sed. We all plied into de car that Kabeshiu had. And OFF 2 ICHIGOS RAMIN SHOP (WHICH ALSO SELLS DA BERGERZ AND SOOSHI AND EEVIN SOM CHIKIN FINGERZ SO IT PLEEZED EVERBODY SO NOONE WAZ FIGHTING OVER WAT RESTRANT 2 GO TO). We started driving lik, 2 mils down de rode when soddenly….

ANOTHER EXPLOSH! DA CAR SKIIDED 523 DEGREEZ IN A CIRCLE ND LAWNCHED LIK, 40 FEET INTO DA AIR AND THER WAZ ACTION ND BITS OF EXPLODE AND SCREEMS OF HOROR AND SOSKEN'S LEG FLOO OFF HIS LEG AND EVERYWON SCREECHED AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AND I SPILLED MY MUNSTER ENGERY DRINK ALL OVER DE CAR SEETS ND KAKASHOT CRIED FOR LIK, 10 MINITES BECAZ HE JUST BOT DE CAR AND GAADRA CHOKED ON HIS BERGER SO I HAD 2 SAV HIM BY PUNCHING HIM IN DA THROTE AND HE SPIT OOT DE BERGER ONTO DE DASHBORD AND IT BOWNSED OFF OF IT AND HIT KINKASHI IN DE FACE AND IT WAZ JUTS SICK SO HE CRIED SUM MORE AND A BIRD FLOO THRU DA WINDSHEELD AND IT GOT STUCK IN NARUTOT'S HARE ND HE DINTN NO WHAT 2 DO AND DA CAR LANDED AND THEN ANOTHER EXPLOSHIN.

"…that waz hardcure" sed Garda with pieces of explode and fire in hiz hare. So y waz there a large exploshin in da first place? Nobady knows. I lucked to da tip of a skyskraper where I saw….. DAYDARA! AND INTACH! AND PAINT! AND WEIRD BLOO FISH GUY I CANT RIMEMBER DA NAME OF! AND CONAN! AND HEDAN! AND KAKZUPU! ND KEESAMAY! AND TOEBEE! AND SOSORIE! ZATZOO! AND ANBODY ELSE I FROGOT THAT WAZ IN DA ORIGINZATION! Actually no they were on tip of da Hoekagay Montin bcaz they woodint fit on da skyskraper.

"WE AR DA ACKUTSKY! AND WE ARE HEAR 2 STEEL YOUR MUNEY, RAP YOUR WOMIN, AND BERN DOWN YOUR VILLAGES LIKE DA SAVGES DO IN DA HISTRY TEXT BOOX IN MY SKOOL. WE WILL B DA NEW ROOLERS OF DA LAND OF FARE! WE ARE DA COOL PONKS, NUT YOU GUYS! PINKS WILL ROOL DA WERLD!" CONAN DECLAIRED as she stoled a laddy's purse. Fish guy flaxed his mussles as he sed I will punch all of you guys to deth bcaz I am da strongest pnok.

"SHIT UP I AM DA STRONGEST!" Zetzoo scramed.

"I dnot hav da tim for this so I wil do a tim skip" I sed.

THREE OURS LATER

I sneaked up 2 da Acatsuky and punched them all in da neck so hard that they passed oot and wnet flying into da distance.

"I took care of da problem!" I yeld.

AN: i hop you enjoyed all da action in this chepter! it was vrey actioney and i made sure to add extra bits of acrtion! Dnot forget to fav, and reviow up!


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9:**

We were all on da mishin together (including Stinka, but I pooshed her into da river and she fell off a waterfall and got dead so its okay). We desided to take a brake. So, I sat down and drinked a bottel of blud.

Paeyn said "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"Narto, you want some blud?" I asked him, handing him da blud bottel.

"im nut actally Natuto, im actually… MINTO OOZEBAKE FRUM DA FUTURE!" he scroomed. I stood up and gapsed.

"THAT WOOD EXPLAN WHY YOU LOOK LIK YOUR DAD BUT YUNGER." I yell.

"where is Stoon then?" Sasken asked.

"he never exited." Minerto explind.

"becuz you used contraption when you lost your verjinty?" Kookashi askd. Why are you here I asked?

"bcaz in da futore, they will tak your DMA and make a clon army 2 take over da werld." Munatoe ansered my qwestion.

"OMGEE NO WAY!" I screemd to da tip of my lung.

"yez, so Madasa sent me back in tim when I waz just a fetis in my mom's wom and I spent my lyfe growing up here in da past under da name of Nanto Oozenmak, wen my reel name was Minat Namkat da hole tim. This way, I kood warn you of them b4 they took your DNA and you kood save yourselfs." Minto snorped.

"but how will we sav ourselfs?" Stinka asked. I wnet WAMP and wamped her on de hed. Y? bcaz she a poot.

"with this" Munatin handed us all (exept for Stakra bcaz noone liks her, even da guy from da futor. Thats just how much of a poot she is) a candel.

"a candel? Wat da fook?" I zaked.

Minto explonded: "that is nut just any odrinarey candel…. It's a SPESHAL CANDEL that blows up when you lite it. It werks kind of like a moltov or a granad. You lite it and then throw it at da emeny so it will blow up and set da place and da person on fir." We all wnet OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

He alzo handed us a soda bottel only it waz not a soda bottel, it waz just LOOKED lik a soda bottel but when you twisted da cap open, it wood transfirm into a bazuka.

"these will portect you from da peeps when they come for your DMA." Manto sed.

"but who will come for our NDA?" Gaadra askd.

"idk some guys it doesnt relly matter just as long as you portect yourselfs" Mintato repled.

"how will we no when they come 2 get us?" Satskay pipped up with another qwestion.

"youll no when da tim comes. You will feel it in your sools." Minto.

"kinda lik when you feel da chonkra in your sool when you do de walk on de trees?" sed i.

"yez. Exackly. very good. Its also lik when Look Skuwaker felt da forest within him" sed da Minarto. "in fact, I will progrem your cumpooterz and sell fones to send you a alert when you feel da feeling in your souls and da peeple come to get your DNA." He took all our sell fones and laptops and eeven Kakshi's old compooter with da big screen lik da old ones we used 2 have in da past bcaz Kookinshi is old and old peeple have those kinds of compyuters becaz they are old.

"HAHAAH NOW I HAVE YOUR CUMPYUTERS AND SELL FONES I WILL NOW DESTORY YOU GUYS NOW THAT I HAVE THEM" Minto scrooched.

(AN: WAT!? A TWIST!? HOW FOOKING GRATE IS THAT?)

We all gapsed in horrorfied.

"jk no im kidding im actually da good guy becaz I am good and from da futor so obviously I am a good guy." He sed and gave us back our compyooters and sell fones after programing them like he sed he wood.

(AN: LOL ANUTHER TWITS! A TWIST WITHIN A TWIST! AM I DA GRATEST OR WAT? I AM DA QWEEN OF PLAT TWISTS! STAY TURNED FOR MORE TWISTS LATER!)

We all had a laff. De end of this part of da chapter

IN DE FUTOR! (LIKE, 3 DAYS LATER OR SOMETHING IDK I DONT THINK THEY HAD CLOKS OR KALENDERZ IN NARTUTO SO THEY COUDLNT TELL ANYWAY)

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBBBBBBBMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM! went da Erth.

"WHAT!?" I scremed. It was a suddin exploshin! I runned outside, but nut before I gotted dressed, bcaz it is illegal 2 go out in publik in your pajamaz becaz it is aparentlie in decent.

I put on a dress. It had spikez all over it. It waz black. It was also riped. I poot on my eeringz 2 and they were skullz and spikeys and bats. I put on my shoes (I put on 2 at a tim bcaz I had to hury to c wat was going on). They were black with red strips. Then I kurled my hare, wich usually takes lik an hour but I did it fast cuz I had to hurry so it only took 45 minits.

I runned out of my apopmint room and started running down da stares, but then I reelized it was taking too long so I just jumped out da window and did a barrel roll and looked up to da sku. Some ninja spaceships were running down da sky! Suddenly, I felt that feeling I was suposed 2 feel in my sool. It waz them! Da guys who were suposed to tak our DMA! Also, I got a notifikashin on my ninja loptop and sell fone. I saw Sarkada running arund in circles and scromping and crying bcaz shes stoop and does nut no how 2 be chill and brave. I poonched her in da hed and she fell and went SCRAHHHHH and passed oot.

I scroomed for Mintop, but I coodnt find him.

"MARNATOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" I scromped. Suddinly Mintaton apeered out of thin air becaz he did da justu that ALOud you to do that.

"they are HEWRE! THEY ARE HERE within da VILLEGE!" I scromped agen.

"its okay. You hav da candel granads and soda bottel bazooken?" Minuto ersked. We all nodded. Sinka eeven nodded so hard that her head flew off and she got dead. "good then we will hav to do de fite of our lifes. This will be a ruff battel so you better be prapared." We all gotted praparted. We all looked do da spaceships. Some foggie figures began to diverge. It was….

AN: AW MAN WHO IS IT!? FIND OUT NEXKT TIM! CLIFFHANG! WHOOT! DNOT FORGET TO FAVORIT AND REVIAW DA STORY! I HOP YOU LIKED THIS CHEPTER!


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10: Seller Doorz**

AN: Sorrie i didnt updat in a wile! i aktally fortgot abot my storie for a bit nd i feel relly bad becaz i waz leevin yu guyz hanging and i no how much yu guys wnated to reed this! aneeway plz favorit and reviow my storie!

Some foggie figures began to diverge. It was….….

GANDOFF DA GRAT! We runned up to da wizerd to get inside da spase ship.

"you shall nut pass" he sed.

"y not?" Sooskin asked.

"you must first pass a sries of tryals." He replod. Trials!? Omgee this waz so dum I just wanted to kill da peepl and go back to waching Da Atoms Famly. "da ferst trial is… BEET ME IN A BASEBALL GAME! And then in a SKATBORD CONTEST!" I gasped. So did Suskoo. And Manto. And Koonkash. And Gaabra. And Metal Len. And Sakraka, but she does nut matter bcaz she is a pophead.

Gandoff de Grat raised his wizerd wand and there was a flash of lite! Soodenly we were in a baseball dimand. And we were all in ninja baseball unifroms! Except for Gandoff da Gary bcAZ HE WAz wering a baseball wizerd rob.

"PLAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY BOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!" Gandoff scroomped. We all played de bassball. Gampa threw de ball and Gandoff de Groy hit it with de bat.

"HOOM RUN!" he scramped and run all de bases. But he DINTN get a hom run. Instead it hit Skarkan in de hed and she dead. I waz up next. Sasukoot used his shragan to throw de ball at me. I hit it with de baseball bat (omgee its lik a joke. You no? bat? Lik de anmal that vmapirs tern into?) and I got 666 houmruns.

"I WIN DE GAM!" I yeld. Garndiff da Grau got reel mad that I won de game. Stotenly, de sku changed lots of colors and sprinkled like glitter and de setting changed to a skatbord pork. His robe changed to be a skatebord cloak and he magiked a goldin Lard of de Ringz skatboard. We ALL GOT SKATBORDS 2 BUT THEY WEre nenja skatboards instead of Lird of de Ringz skatboardes.

Soodinly… A WISTEL WENT OFF! AND WE WERE OFF! we rased to de finsh line and we did da cool triks (but Gindoff de Groot and Kinshusi didnt bcaz triks are 4 kids) while a gablin took skore of de poynts we got. We made it 2 da FISHEN LINE!

"KONGRAJULASHINS!" de gotblin scretmed. "YOU WIN LOONA!" I scrimped in joy. I had won de skootbard contist! I won de ferst tryal! Sudinly, de setting transfarmed into de setting it waz before.

"you past de ferst tryal. But there are still 2 more tryals in da sries of tryals that you must still past. Go forth, my anemonies. You SHALL pass." He stoot to de side and let us thru. As we walked further into de spase ship, he kelled to us: "YOU MUST NEXT GET PAST MY BROTHER….. GANDOF DA PINK!" we all gapsed. Except Stinka, becaz she soodenly died.

10 foots later, we reeched Gindaff du Pnik.

"YOU SHALL NIT PASS!... well, unless you win de tryal. Then, if you do, then you do pass." He sed. But we new de drill.

"wat is de tryal?" I oosked.

"de tryal is… A KARATEE MACH!" we all gapsed. Except for Sakenra. Bcaz she a dead poot. Gandiff de Pnik waved his magikal wand and de seenery changed 2 be de boxing ring from De Karte Kid. Grandoff da Pink did de nenja karte stanse and we batteled. It was a in tens battel. I won.

"you have done well, my yung gratshoopen. You…. SHALL PASS! You know until you get 2 da next trial. Then you cnot pass agen." I WON DE TRYAL!

"kondragonlashinz" Garba condraglated me.

"I no" I sed as we all wnet to da next tryal. It waz…..…..…..…..…..….. GRANDOFF DA BLOO!

"WHATS DE TRyal this time, you wizerd guy?" I isked.

"you must fite…. FIFTEY JILLEYON ROOBOTS!" he thunded. We gapsed agen. Fiftee jillion rotbots? No way! (AN: that's a lot of roboots! How will Lunta win? Omgee keep reeding 2 find oot!)

We were transport 2 a new lokayshin with da wave of Gandiff da Bloots wand where there was…. FIFT JILLON RONBOTS! Soodinly…. THERE WAZ ACTION! We all did de ninja jutsus 2 kill de rowbots but there waz just TOO many. I threw de ponches nd kiks nd so did evrywon els exsept for Sanka becaz she ded nd she iz alzo a pootbutt to. Nd everyon nows that pootbitts donat no how 2 fite at all. We fighted and fihted and fited for HORS AT A TIM and 46527 hours later, we wer STILL FIGHTING! More and more rowbots kept spawning and I waz geting reel tired of all da fiting! I did da tigger bore hoars snak bore snak tigger munkey rabit snaek tiger snak sneke berd hors munkey hand seel sequince to do a justu. It waz….. SOUPER STONG SUPPER AWESOM KOOL GRATE FIRBALL KRAZY ELETRIK LITNING GROWND STYLE WATER HYDRA PUMP STABBY SORD JUTSOO!

All de rovots got hit by my jutsin and fell 2 de ground.

"I DID IT I WON DE TRYAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS I WON AL DE TRIALS OH MY FOOKING GUD I WON DE TRIAKS I LOV E ITHS SO MUCH IOH MY GUSH I WIN AND I SHAL PASS NOW INH MY GID. WINIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIWN !" I SCREEEMD.

Gandoff da Bloe gave a look of da feet. (AN: why is da word "da feet"? thats so weerd. Like, wat do feet got 2 do with loosing? Espeshally if yu give a look of da feet, becaz thats yor fase not yor feet that ar giving a look. Oh well its not my word I dintn invent it so I gess I kant say anything aboot it)

We wnet 2 da control room and hit da "explode" button becaz idk what else we wood do to stop da introoders and keep them from steeling our DNA and I havent written in so long that I fortget wat I waz writting aneeway.

SEXTY SEKONDS UNTIL SELF DSTRUKT. A voice yelled out from da machine in a girl roobot voice lik in da moovies.

"we need 2 leaf da visinity!" Kabashuin yeld oot.

FORTY SIX POINT TOO SEKONTS 2 SPASESHIP EXPLOSHIN. Da voice continued. We all runned to da exit. Will it b too late? Or is 46.2 sekinds enuff to leev da ship?

LEAVE DA FOOKIN SHIP IN 23.7 SECINDS UNLESS YO WNAT TO DYE YU DAM INTROODERS. Da voice yeld.

We kept running nd running and we runned past all three gandoffs.

"hey were r you guys gooing?" Gandiff da Pink aksed wen we ran by. Soodenly he herd da voice frum da space ship.

THERTY TEN SEKONTS TO MELTDOWN.

"HOLLY SHOT!"" Garndoff screeched. He ran with us, but I pooshed him down becaz he waz evil becaz he waz with da peepl who wnated 2 steel our DMA so we cood not let him or da other gardnoffs surviv becuz then they wood try 2 stael our DAN agen.

"OW MY NEE I FELL ON IT I NEED THAT 2 WALK. HOW WILL I ECSAPE THIS PLASE NOW!? I WILL DIE AND I DNOT WANT TO PLEES HALP ME I NEED HOLP!" he sed tryin 2 got up. He waz old, wich is y he broke his nee. Also his rist broke (I make it this way so its more likly that he wont eskape). Plus his nek. Gindoff da Bloo brok his legs. And Gardnoff da Gray browk his nose and also his foot and his ear too. Now non of them can escape.

TOO SECONDZ TO GET DA HELL OOT. Sed da vouce.

Oh nnoooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" I screemed. We ran to da exists. Will we mak it in tim? I dnot think so becaz da voice sed FIV SEKONDS TO SELF DESTRUKT.

We jamped out of da spase ship just in tim and landed on da ground when da LARJEST EXPLOSHIN DA LAND OF FORE HAS EVER SEEN IN ITS ENTIRE LIVE HAPPENED FRUM DA SPACE SHIP AND IT WNET KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM PWQHIJAQORIDNGQUIQNQGQAVNVNVBNDSASPSNFVNGVF9WA[I VIENVOIASBFGV8ISMDNBFISSWNHBFHNGWOINRGVIIANdsfFREQAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBAREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPCCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMSSSSSSSSSSSSSMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAAASHCCCCCCCCCCCCCLLLLLLLLLLLLLIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGHOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHUUUUUUUUUTTTTTTTTTTTTBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBBBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

"wholey shit" sed Gara. Skankura broke her face wen she fell becuz she a dumm pooplehed nd she got ded becauz of it. WICH IS GOOD BECAZ NOONE LIKS THAT DUM BASS BICH.

So thats da end of da peepl who tried 2 steel our dna.

AN: waz that chepter gud or WAT!? i thot it waz vrey good. plz plz pritty plz REVEIW UP!


	11. Chapter 11

Todan I waz hengin oot with Metle Lee, Sasaken, Nonto, nd Garbara. Stinkera waznt here, becaz she a DEAD WEEK STINKY UGLEE POOTY SMELLY POPPY BICH DOOSHY ASWHOLE VERGINT POTTY POOPHED. Nd everyone knows that if yu ar ded nd also all of those thingz, then yu kannot hang out with da kool vmapires. We wer smoking da wiskee (it iz a kind of leef drug thing lik mariwana or pit or creck in case yu did nit know) lik da kool coolio cool peepl we are. We wer alzo drinking sum kind of alcohol lik root beer or budwhyzer or sumthing idk I donot know da kinds of alkhol ther are. Soddenly….

KINKAKASHOON RUNNED UP 2 US AND SED HEY GUYZ WE HAV 2 GERT YU REJISTERD 4 DA CHEWNINE EXAMZ SO YU KAN BE PROMOWTED FRUM ABU BLAK POPS TO CHOONEEN SO YU KAN BE STRONGER FASTER KOOLER NENJAZ LIK ME.

"ferst of all, YU LAM KOBASHIN. SO WE WIL NUT BE KOOL LIK YOU BECAZ YU ARE NAT COOL." I sed. "now explan da choonon exam in case da reeders of this story forgetted what it is"

"da chonin exams are when yu take a relly hard math test or sumthing idk wat was on de test becaz de show did not spesify wat was exacly on de test nd yor job is to not cheet but relly yu hav to cheet nd do it relly good but do not let da other stoodints see you cheet becaz then they will tell on yu lik da stoop tattl tell babbies they ar and then sumthing about Nonto going to take a pee or sumthing I do not remeber but I gess it dosnt matter and then yu wait for yor tests to get grayded by da teecher and then if yu pass you hav to go into da Chownon Exam Frost nd beet da shot out of everbody with kool justus and also beet up Oronchonmont becaz he a pedopoot and then take da skrools to da Japnese Leening Tower of Pizza-looking billding in da middel of da forist but yu KANT OPEN DA DAM SKROLLS YOU FUKIN POOP but then if you open da scroll then Eureka-sensay will kome out and beet you up or sumthing idk I fortget exacly wat happind ther 2 and then yu hav to hav a battel with yor stoopid emeny and if yu win you beecom prowmowted to da chuneen." Kakbashin expland.

"that sonds so EEZY!" I yeld.

"I thought it waz pretty hard sounding…" frownd Stinko. I ponched her in da face and she got deaded up agen becaz she A WEEK STOOP STINK POOP BAYBEE. Fukin stoop poop…

So now I do a tim skip to da chunine examz becaz I donot know wat 2 do with da story other then that.

 **~TIM SKIP TO DA CHON EXUMS~**

WE WALKED INTO DA CHOOneen exam rooms wich were relly da classrooms we used 2 use in da olden dayz back wen we were 7 yeer olds in da nenja prepation akadimy. We all sitted down at da desks nd da teecher stoot at da frunt of da classroom classroom. He looked all big nd scarree and I guess he waz a vampil or a gath or maybee evin an emo idk but I think he waz a vampie so im going 2 say he is one and he had a rally col trench kote and a hidden leef banana hed band thing and hehad giant linez on his face lik he messed up putting on his eyliner I guess he needs mor practise he probly is new to da hole vampir thing and he wroted some japoneez shit on da bord and sed "okay in this exam yu will solve relly hard math eqwayshinz nd you KANNOT FUCKING CHEET YOU LITTEL PEACE OF SHIT SMELLY POOPY BABBEE POPHEDS so doo not cheet or I wil panch yu in da face and you will be xpeld frum nonja skool and you will hav 2 go to reglar school wich is vrey boring and lame trust me I know this becaz I wnet to relgular skool and it waz so lame that I quitted and it was so boring that I runned da skool over with a train using some kind of justu and they had 2 spend 32 yeers rebillding it becaz it waz 2LAME4ME. so yea dnot cheet you poopsers."

So he passed oot da tests and they had all these rally hard qwuestions lik 16x2 = 4x + 8 (AN: seriously! That queastion is SO HARD! Beleev it (lol lik Nonto nd his cachfraze) or not, this is a REEL EQUASHIN! And it is VERY FOCKING HARD. I got a qwestion lik that in sckool and its just so damm hard and I cood not do it! Lik, serisly. Im not a souper jenius math fistisist! How kan aney of us know how 2 do this? Its not evin a question! Its just a bunch of letterz thrown in with numers! Fukin stopid teecherz nd there giddamm mathness!)

I cheeted by doing Supper Portle Jutsu wich is a justu where I crate a portel and tranzport stuff to me threw it and I trnasported da test of da sekind smertest person in da room (becaz I da first smartiest hahah lolololoooloolollolol) and used there ansers becaz that was wat I was supossed 2 do but since the seciond smortest person in da klass wasn't actually all that smrat, I had 2 finsh most of da test myself, which I could do becaz I am da smartestest. The end of this part of da story becaz ther is nuthing else to write about this part here.

 **~TOME SKIP 2~**

Well I PAST DA TEST so now I go to Chunine exams! Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Now we in da Exam Forist, and we gotta get da skrolls. It waz vary scray in here, but that didnot matter 2 me. becase im a vampire. And vmapires dnot get scarred e-zily. Also we can eet da bloood of watever tries to bother us. So we good. Except Sankera. Becaz she a stipid prep. And also not a vampie. Becaz she DUM. So we in da forast wen suddenly…. WE GET ATTAKED BY OORCHIMU AND HE LOOKED LIK A LADIE AND OMYAGASH WE DID THIS CRAZY FITE SEEN AND IT ENDED IN SKAKRA BEIN A STOOPY POOP THAT DOSNT KNOW HOW TO DO ANYTHING AND SASUKON WAZ IN A DAZE BECAUS OF FOR SOME REESON I DNOT REMEBER AND I THINK NONTO WAZ EETEN BY A LARGE CATAPILLOR. SO I HAD TO FITE ORCHOMAR ON MY OWN AND I WON DE BATTLE!

Ochoomoru was on de floor dyeing and he said

"Kambunto, PLEEZ, carry on my will to DESTORY DE WERLD AND KILL ALL HUMEN BEEING AND ESPESHIALLY KILL NANTRUTO BECAZ HE IS A FUCKEN TERD AND I WNAT TO STEEL DA NIN TALED FOX FROM HIM. Do it. For meeeeeeeeeee" he whimspered before he dead. Kabutt scrremed "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooOoOoOoOOO!" and he got reel mad and ordered Orchmort's snak to eet Sorkera. She screemed and got eated up. And now she died. LOL. Then Kambutent runned away becaz he knew he kood not beet us and he had to rekoop after da attak anyway.

So we continud 2 da Japaneez Tower thing in da middel of the forest and we kame across a bunch of other skwads and we beat da shit out of them all caz we da BEEST SQWAD EVAr. WE GET TO DA LEENING TOWER AND we see a poster and it says "hey guyz yo can open da scrollz now so go ahed and do it now and you will win da exams" so we opened da sceroll and SIDDENLY ERUKA-SENSAY COME OUT AND SAY HAYO YOU GAYS WIN DE EXAMS EXEPT GESS WAT!? DA EXUMS ARENOT OVER! YOU STIL HAVE TO BEET UP A BUNCH OF GUYS IN A ONE ON ON MACH AND IF YOU WIN YOU PASS LOLOLOL

We all gapsed.

Da end. Of this chaper.

AN: so theres da ferst part of da chinin exam! Sorri if it did nat follow da orginal stroy line of da amine! I fortgot wat happend exacly at da part with Orchimaru so I had to imporvis! Thank for reeding, toon in next tim for more! PLEEZ PLEZ PLZ RAT AND REVEW MY STORY! Also, speshil shootout to my bestest firend Kownt Gothika! She encoraged me 2 keep writting evin wen da depershin kiked in nd made me very sad! I also apreshate that she reedin this story! I lav you, besty!


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